And the Sexy Get Sexier

Welcome to my first sermon and probably my last! Did you ever wonder that maybe God made a slight miscalculation when he installed the sex drive in men and women?

I have decided to use the Bible as my reference to this question. You recall the story of Sarah and Abraham. Sarah is hiding outside their tent eavesdropping on a conversation between the Lord and Abraham. The Lord tells Abraham that Sarah will bear a son. The story continues with Sarah laughing within herself, not out loud for anyone to hear except the Lord. Why was she laughing? It wasn't just because she and Abraham were so old, it was because she knew that there was no way Abraham was going to get "lucky!" It had to be a laughter about sex, because she said to herself, "After I am waxed old, shall I have pleasure?" All women know that there is no pleasure in pregnancy or birthing a baby, so she had to be thinking of a roll in the hay with Abraham. The waxed old part was a nice way of letting us know that her love-making tool was as dry as a bone and not even a toothpick could penetrate it, let alone the love-making tool of an old man, which was probably at half mast at best.

And so she laughed to herself. Who could blame her? But later in the chapter, Sarah did conceive, so we have to assume that Abraham did perform and that Sarah had a large tube of K-Y jelly under her bed, saving it for a special occasion. And with Abraham being 99 years old and actually surviving the encounter, you have to know that it was a work of the Lord.

This is where your faith comes in. You know that they had some love-making without the help of a loud TV, a minivan in the woods, soft porno, or rub on peanut butter. They just got it done. We have no choice but to believe that he did it, she liked it, and 9 months later, Isaac was born.

I recently had the opportunity of caring for a patient in her late 80's. Her husband was so attentive to her that I took notice. Well actually, it kind of hit me in the face. I walked into her room and I should have knocked, but thats neither here or there. I found her husband bent over her with almost full body contact, giving her a passionate kiss good-night. I wanted to apologize for walking in on them, but I couldn't talk. I just stood there with my mouth open. He stood up, looked at me, and walked out of the room
But the good nurse that I am, I couldn't let it go. I offered to walk her to the bathroom as I sought some needed information. So I asked her," Are you two still so close?" What I meant was,"Are you two still doing it?"
She smiled at me and replied, "Yes we are close !" I realized I had to dig a little deeper, so I asked,"Are you two still physical?" She looked confused and I thought to myself-good grief, must I use the S word? So I continued, "You know, intimate?"
She laughed, probably the same laugh as Sarah and told me that "that hasn't happened for a long time and I don't remember the last time." But I bet her husband knew. And if the truth be known, he was trying to make advances right in her sick bed.
I walked out to the nurses station and mentioned the loving couple. Do you think anyone was interested? Yes, they all were. We were all distracted by our busy hospital nursing and even though we rarely had time for lunch, we found time to chat about this. Here are a few of the comments:
"Wow, can you imagine love-making for 40 more years?"
"Why that old man can hardly walk !" But this ain't about walking my friends, this is about the motion of the ocean and we all know that the ocean is never still.
The daily life of a woman is quite different than a man. Men retire and women keep right on working. This is why poor ole Sarah was outside the tent in the heat of the day. She was probably scrubbing Abraham's underwear due to his incontinence, while he relaxed with the Lord sipping that fermented wine. There was no mention that Abraham laughed, just Sara, when she realized she had to add love-making to her long to-do list and if the scripture was more explicit, it would tell us that she slept throught the whole ordeal.
Men in the Bible had all kinds of women, besides their wife. Did you ever read about a woman who had a bucket load of men just waiting for her to call them for a roll in the hay? I do wonder why at times. It doesn't seem fair. Does it to you??