I have been reading my brother's writings in his wife Lara's blogs. Each day I want to see him, to hold him and make his pain go away, or as he prayed to God at 3am the morning she died, "Father take this cup from me." But he had to drink the cup, it was the plan, one we would ever understand.
Just like his pain and loneliness for his "best friend". They were close, they worked hard to keep their marriage flickering. Oh dear friends, it just doesn't happen, we have to make it work. I am pretty sure that it takes two to make it flourish.
Parenting falls in there somewhere where you have to agree on a course of discipline. More work, more talking, more continuity.
My own father was 35 yrs old with 3 small children when our mother was stricken with TB. She had to go away to Pine Bluff where she had a nervous breakdown and then had to stay with our grandmother while she was in a catatonic state. My Dad kept his job, got outside help, and we as kids will do, tried to kill each other when he was gone to work.
He too would have wanted the cup taken away, to not have to drink, but he drank. It was the plan.
So many times in our lives we just want sorrowing things to just go away and not drink from the cup. Most of us will have to drink. This is what God has decided.
We spend endless hours grieving, little things remind us of the one we lost as if placed there in front of us to cause us more pain. But what we immediately do is cry, we grieve. This is all part of the healing process. Will the pain ever go away? Probably not, but it will not stay in first place, the children have to be taken care of, the church work goes on. Yes my brother had to drink that cup, just as we all will some day. Someday, we will be the one watching a loved one go home, or we will be the one going home. As Tim says, mortality is 100% in humans.
Our day will come. But will we get the send off that Lara got. She gladly gave up her life, kept upbeat, and I know she looked down from Heaven the night of the memorial service and saw the raised hands. I know she smiled and I am sure she cried from joy. This was her life as a pastor's wife, to win souls.
So as time ticks slowly by, Tim will heal. In the meantime, we have to wait and watch as he grows in God's strength.
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There is no pill to swallow that will help the pain and hurt as we watch our love one slip away.We can only say no matter how much the hurt is (God need them to join His flower garden).
ReplyDeleteSo let's be loving and kind to one another,while we still have them.
How true that is!!!
ReplyDeleteThere is no way any one can give Tim advice on losing his soulmate. No way any one can understand what he is going through. Tim lost his soulmate, which lucky for him while she was here was his assistant in his ministry,but a great void today, his wife, (all wives or husbands unfortunately does not turn out to be soulmates), the mother of his children, his best friend. Now folks that is a great loss. Too great one would say for a man that had given his life to the ministry of our Lord? Perhaps it would appear that way but in the ultimate plan God wove Lara into Tims life to be his assistant, important in Tims work of getting lost souls to heaven. Gods way is not our way nor ours to understand. Tim is a strong man who has the Lord as his assistant too and though he has been dealt a harsh blow he will continue on with his work for the Lord till he reaches the end of his road. This life is but a vapor and eternity is our goal. To Tim I say I hurt with you young man and I love you. All the I am sorrys will not help him except to know he is loved. As he continues his work the pain he has suffered may help many lost to come to the Lord for if we as individuals have never suffered unfortunately we may not understand enough to help. Be beside Tim as much as he wants you to be and tell him he is so loved.
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