The Evans' Go Upstate

Planning for a trip one year in advance is not always a good thing. How do you know if you will be alive then? Or if you still want to go? So a trip of this nature can cause some undo stress, especially for us, since we are already at our peak of anxiety on a normal day!
We purchased our tickets for a 4-day bus trip to Cooperstown, New York to see our Ironman, Cal Ripken be inducted into the Hall of Fame. This was in fact a man vacation,which I will explain.
One week prior to our little vacation, all H---- broke loose. Our son Stephen needed to have shoulder surgery after the UMBC trainers wasted the whole summer trying to decide on a course of action. It worked out for them to do the surgery the day before we were to leave for NY.
After a zillion phone calls, we postponed the surgery so we could take the trip which meant we packed that huge worry right in our suitcases.
And after years of my back misery, the pain returned with a vengeance to the point where I could not clean my own bathrooms. As the date for the trip got closer, I was starting to doubt if I could even stand the trip. But when you pay a year in advance and don't get that blasted insurance, you just go.
Our family had many discussions that week. Our son Stephen wanted to stay home and have his surgery. Our son Rusty didn't want to stay in the same hotel room with us with just two beds. I wanted to go to Ocean City or visit my Aunt Gert and camp out in her sunroom. My husband doesn't like to leave his habitat. And no one wanted to put the dog in the kennel since he had become as high strung as the rest of us.
So Friday arrived. I announced that everyone had to pack for themselves. The chaos of the last minute Evan's crazy actions started to unfold.
In the mid afternoon, my husband, who had been off work a whole week, remembered he had a mother that he had to visit, which was a 2-hr trip that annoyed me. Then you may recall, we were in the worst drought and everyone's lawn was brown like dirt. Keep this in mind as you read. We hadn't had a thunderstorm in months.
I left to take the hyper dog to the kennel as my husband had some downtime on his laptop. He did tell me he was going to mow the lawn and I asked him, "whose lawn?" since we didn't even have any grass. This annoyed me as well and I knew it would suck up 2 more hours and no one had packed yet.
On the way to the kennel, the sky got dark and we had a pretend storm where the wind blows and it thunders with sporadic rain fall that barely wets the grass and was capable of electrocuting a man on a lawnmower. When I got home the lawn mowers had taken cover in the garage and I couldn't even park my car. I finally got in and saw my husband reclining and playing his Game Boy as he waited out the lightning storm, which annoyed me once again.
I think I was getting nuts because it was nearing 7pm and no one had packed yet. What's with that? I wanted to load the car the night before since we had to meet the bus as 0630 the next day to begin our trip.
Stephen still wasn't home from college and Rusty didn't think he should pack "if Stephen hadn't packed yet." What are they, toddlers? Rusty was busy trying to find some Cal Ripken stuff and I finally found a number 8 shirt that I had been using as a wedge between my air mattress and the bureau for 4 years. I am a true fan, don't you think?
At 10pm, I was exhausted, the car was empty, and I left them and went to bed. The mountain was just too big to fight. I thought that vacationers were supposed to relax and forget their troubles, so why was I thinking of selling my ticket on E-Bay?
We got up early and everyone was scrambling around doing things that should have been done the night before. I was annoyed with all 3 of them.
We made it in time to meet the bus without killing each other, parked the car, and got in to take our seats. I settled back in my seat and took a deep breathe. But we were not moving, it seemed one couple was missing. We waited for them for 10 minutes and they finally arrived and walked on the bus without any apology like we owed them this special time. How can people be so annoying? I instantly disliked both of them and not because they were huge or late, but because they were huge AND late, a deadly combo. They were so big, they shared 2 seats each, which was a good thing for them so their fat didn't rub together and cause huge bedsores from the bumpy bus ride. The man had sleep apnea and snored the whole time we were on the bus. How could anyone be that tired?
We stopped for breakfast after 2 hrs and we were told that we had one hour to eat. The little country place was small and the food was great when we finally got it. Everyone on the entire bus had been served but us. Were we that easy to over-look? I had to tell the hostess of the bus that we would be late. This little adventure became our trademark through out the trip. No matter where we went to eat, out table was either forgotten or last and we were the tallest people on the bus trip. Isn't that weird? I was starting to doubt if we were really going to Cooperstown or if I was in the middle of a bad dream.
We stayed in Utica, in a large hotel, one hour from Cooperstown. Our room was large and we piled in as we bickered over sleeping arrangements. We ordered a cot for Rusty, Stephen claimed one bed and my husband the other bed. How nice! Where was I going to sleep? I finally put two bench things and a chair together and used a spread for a mattress. And why not? This was a man vacation with man shopping and man talk. I was the invisible, needy woman in constant back pain. But it was only for a few nights and surely I would survive.
The next day, we got up at 0500 to eat breakfast and ride our bus into Cooperstown so we could get a spot for the induction ceremony. Can you imagine 70,000 people huddled in chairs on acres of green grass with humidity that would kill a cactus? No wonder we never went to Disney World.!
Even the zillion people did not amaze me as my own family did. My husband who can not stay on the beach for more than an hour under a 100 SPF umbrella managed to sit for 4 hours in 100 degree sun blazing heat with sweat running down his face without a word of complaint. My boys who dislike sitting in an air conditioned church with a 20 minute message from their Uncle, managed to listen to 2 speeches, one 35 minutes long and one fifteen, with their shirts drenched in sweat and not one complaint from either of them.
This same trio, who wouldn't be caught dead shopping in a mall for Christmas gifts (thank God for Santa) shopped for 2 days in the Hall of Fame while I sat on a bench wishing I had some pain pills for my back. They were in some kind of male euphoria, a true man vacation. They stayed up late, they took naps, they ate tons of food and since I hate all 3 of those things, it was tough for me, but in the name of quality family time, I survived.
The sole purpose of any family vacation is to see who survives without any blood shed and to see what is left of the family by the end of the trip.
It seems that my dear husband who enjoyed the trip so much is planning our next vacation and he thinks a cruise would be great. HUH? Yeah right buddy, only if we have 2 bedrooms and a bucket load of Xanax !